Journals : (dreams may 15 through may 20 )

Women:

All of the above, was the way I have interacted with women ; expect for the ones who talk and talkj, and I don’t feel are pretty enough to be seriously intersted in me in such a lustful way. And then if they want physical attention, I give it to them, to be compassionate, but am not getting anything I can’t walk away from or want or need. This wy, I am not ‘blackmailed’ by the woman, to get more of something I never needed before and was happy withoput, and suiddenly be hungering for her sex, and have her manipulate me to get it, giving her power over me.

So, in the spirit of freedom, I can choose to freely give, but I kept in mind the outcome, – the angry women, who talk shit about the man afterward: a. those I don’t get close to( cause it’s likely, they’ll be saying the same negative stuff about you soon enough, to another man, ; and that the relationship is doomed form the beginning, because the girl is looking for a man to solve orher problems, or be flawless, and isn’t looking to give, or be in a real realationship, she is looking to achieve something, and the man fits the role, iuntil she discovers a flaw, and then she blames him for something, and moves on.

2:06 pm ( get up, urinate, drink some water: consider how it will be nice to get up in morning and do vocal, and guitar, and piano for an hour, before starting day: and to have ideas, script, and website caught up, and ahead, so I write later on; how nice it will be to have the family room arranged, ( more pace in the studio: Which MAKING TWO comicbook boxes: scanning the covere, then putting them away will allow;: – If I find the Belladonna covers, and cave wwoman covers, I should set them aside fro scanning. Not sure where they are right now. And they are missing from my vintage comibook posts. – )

I reflected, that the women I have met, who liked me, perceived my beheavrio around them as ‘disinterest’, in them personally. Rather, thatn mey personality, as a a result of self defense. ( when I explain the reason I have the self defense, I explain it- and I suppose was hoping to be given a reassuring that they were not lkike that: instad, the woman is tired, uniterested, and views herself as being unattractive, because the man is merely talking to her about other women: I spuppose, the woman then has her feelings hurt, that she was a) frsutrated, she didn’t get the ‘date’ touching she wanted. b) she wasn’t lustful, or lust inspiring enough, for me to be intersted in her, rather than talkk about someone else.

It seems ironic, that opening up and sharing intimate thoughts with someone you want to be intimate with – which seems the honest, good faith route to take in staring a an intimate relationship – seems to prevent eh relationship from becomign what was desired. I fI wanted to have a skiising, physical relationship with someon I really respected, I feel my besyt, would be to tell her about the feelings I had. But if the result is, that she doesn’t want tot further talk to me, and voaids calls, then the response from the desired woman, seems to be punishment for being honest. Its highly likely, that this is the reason there is ‘game’ mentality, to dating. Because of thie lack of compassion people justify, when they seek a partner selfishly and for social uppward mobility, gold digging, or sexual plasure. IF people treated other people with compoassion and klindness, whether they were lust objects, or not, there would be lkess lonely bitter sd people, and more happy, fufilled, lvoing people, and more people would be in healthy relationships. Its when people look for a problkem free relationhship, and find someone who ‘presnetes themselves illusory; and masks any issues that might affect teht relationshoip, or be something to deal with later on ; their own expectations, have generated the deception; and because it’s done to win, it wil lbe much longer, before it is discovered, or dealt with; since it is masked, and denied; thus, relationships, fall apart ( sseemingly inexplicably ) after x amount of years, most likely, when one person can no longer maintaint eh deception, and the partner is not worth the cost it takes on the person acting perfect. This isn’t a mutually supportive relationship. This is manipulation from each perspon, ; and bound to not go right someday, because the unspoken contract was set, that the person was something they aren’t. And when such times arrives ( which is enevitable- that the partner discovers, they aren’t as described in the unspoken contract; the cotnract ends- is dissolved. So people serial date, finding other prentenders, and a long line of pretenders, leaves tehm disillusioned, jaded, and themselves not trusting anyone is who m they appear, and they themselves feeling like they will never find what they have expected to find. Meanwhile, all tat they do experience, and good that comes along, is like an uncounted blessing, that is being set on the shelf, while the ‘game is played’. Fuck ‘the game’. IF you reject eh game, and be your honest self, eventually someone else who is simialr will come along, and both can be companions who love them self first, and so can love each other. But if oen woanders around looking for someone to make them feel better about themselves, – their joy is going to fluctuate, between discoveries that the person they thought was mr perfcect doesn’t measure up.

So it’s easyt to see, these tratis in the prospective partner, before choosing them over tohers. As they describe their ex, and family; whatever it is you hear about them , is likely how they will view you soon enough. The best partner, is someone who honest,ly finds the good in other people; because if you are with them, they will likely do the same for you. Trying to maintain an appearnce of living up to someone’s expectations, is destined to come to a a dissapointing epiphany, that they see you are not what they hoped.

Dad: (Picnic table )

I thought of dad in his forties, a mountain of strength, and I as a middle schooler in Jupiter, half his size. When he used to take me to the Jupiter beach and pool, and recreation sports. He would be tired at the end of the day, and wanted to lay next to me. Nothing harmful, never sexual. ( though someone reading this might inferr) It was jus tlike a hug, or being next to you r pet dog. I would be lying next to him, h would read a book, and then he would tak e a nap, and I was lying there next to him. Sometimes playing a game where we would tap each other on the back, and say “bumbudy cut”. Games he had learned from his dad. [ dad never looked at child porn, or homo porn, or boys; there is no reason to suspect- so I will vehemently defend and refute any suspiscious cast , or shade, cast in that direction]. It was communion with his son. Meditation. Like campers in a tent. [ It’s a trend of this current generation to be trigger happy, ready to launch social media witchunts, – whether the facts are accurate, or if any wrong was actually done; its ridiculous, because, they aren’t actually interested in doing any good, the just want to justify dumping their rage on a target; and interested in dispensing hate. Like the KKK- making a case that their target is inferior and deserves it, – so that they can dump their hate. They complain their target is terrible, but they aren’t bringing anything good, or interested in recognizing any good in the target. Their myopia is obvious to any bystander. IT makes them feel bigger, to put others down]

I thought of how fragile, brittle, light, dad is, and viewed the two – over time, I now the vigorous forty year old, and dad ( once vigorous), now a shell, a dried up husk, his words go out like shooting stars. He has money saved up, like a battery to run the last mile so he doesn’t have to wear out his physical energy faster. Unlike the forty year old, who seeks to spread, and amass, and attain, and grasp, and disgest and own. Dad is seventy, and not planting the garden, not doing little chores he mentions need to be done – ( he thinks it would be good to pull the plastic up, and get rid of the weeds in the front ayrd garden area. But its been weeks since he said that – meanwhile, he daily speaks of childhood, talking about events I never heard of before , in great detail. He looks forward, to like, a kid, the daily newspaper jumble, and struggles over brain teasers – let down if he can’t get it ; as though he was failed. And become obsolete. IF he acheives the puzzzle, he feels he’s stiull got it. Him and mom talk about their getting together, and the relationship dynamic before and immediately after they met. Reminiscing over the many events.

As I pull the picnic table – that dad builkt ( now dreid, and fragile, brittle) from where it seemed just inches from slipping over the concrete ground edge. It’s lack of resistance, it surprising lack of mass, lightness, – this empty, hollow thing ( that means so much to me; and was so strong, sturdy, immovable, time in the majority of my memory) I see the limited duration of all things. Time is the reason we should forgive, we should so unto others as we like done to us, – why we should keep treating others with love, and be peaceful and build useful things, and preserve the good trees, and be kind to neighbors, and help our loved ones, regardless of whether they treat us in kind. And do our best each day to create that which we belive is important. And take time to record and document the wisdom of those around us, and strive to make our surrounds good.

Because, time is a factor, we are operating under. Success, saving money, spending it. Time is the substance in which all is thrown and exists. Catching the rainwater, plcukign the ripe fruit. These are thigns that can happen, And are important. Money, winning, these are just a lost, as the sturdy table that gets weathered. IT is the waether that endures. The natural forces.

The heroes of our youth, on screen and book ( like macgyver or scwarzennegger) the beauty of actress, long dead, or unrecognizable now in their ild age. The joy of life is not circumscribed to youthful appearance. The prize fighter given the title ‘strognest man in the world’, will be old, and forgotten, in time.

As will every frustration, and obstacle in our lives at present. Every hope, dissapointment, – will be replaced, reconciled or forgotten, in short time.

It is the daily natural refreshment, that gives us more time. More time, can give us more joy, and the ability to also pass through more disappointment, and obstacles – and gain more money.

Seeking money, as though it will bring joy, and attainment, and marriage to beauty, and grasping of desire – none will remain in time.

It is “In “ time, that our experience is circumcsribed. And doing the most, with it, in a way that extends it, and enables all the good that one seeks, for themselves and others, to the best o ftheir abilities; shows the wisdom in helping, doing good, – without using the reciprocation of others who aren’t valuing it, – noentheless. Because, if you take care, and do good, you are benefitting yourself, and making your environment one that give soyu more time. And you will have time to see those around you benefit from it, and they will be around for more time that you all now have. And that is the intangible reward of goodness, that outvalues money, and winning, and justifies the spiritual teachings and principle sof doing good to others.

Because there is no money or winning , that can offset the sorrow, of losing loved ones to time, comparable, to taking the time, and granting yourself time, to know them, and be good to them.

When you give up ‘time’ , to ‘win’ – know what you are giving up- when you wonder where your happiness went. And you may understand why you are sad; despite ‘winning’. And why ‘winning’ might never gain you that which you seek.

Thus it is no mystery, why the broken hearted, sad, and seemingly ‘timelost’ – find themselves, in time, when they de prioritize money, and winning – and to their peers in the ‘game’, who mock them ( as they always do, whether winning or losing) deriding their decision to ‘seek’ spiritual enlightenement; as they fall off the radar of their opponents in the game – becoming ‘loser’s in their esteem. It seems a mystery when they encounter the joy, vigor, and renewed sense of appreciation, from game-losers’, who have gained something other than money, which they are inexplicably happy about. And as much as the game-winners’ with money, may insist, they are ‘losers’, the ones who take the time to do good, seem inexplicably happy. And it seems unfair to the ‘gamewinners’ who had to sacrifiace their time – time with family, time with recreation, tiem with rest, time with relaxation; beocming a high stressed, high blood pressure, hyper, strained, exhasted, miserable, member of a rat race, that never ends, until they drop down from fatigue.

Which will happen sooner than the socalled losers, who are doing good, for otehrs, and in that way themselves.

The winners will fall. It is inevitable, and when it happens, the rats will tread on their backs, disregarding their failure, without compassion for their creature comforts; or lifeswork. As each is soley ocncerned about their own acheivements. A hard, unforgiving, double edge life by the proverbial sword; that has only one course, and inevitable outcome, which is to finally be bested by another just as selfish and ambitious and remoresless.

The winners will run their short race, of pride, and vengeance. – of selfish power, and sadistic retailiation. The winners, discarding time, to further the aforementioned, will fall in fatigue, with few tending him. But the so-called losers, who helped others along the way, and took the time to renew their strengths and nurture others, will still be standing. Still walking, and helping others in good faith, and therby themselves, as their lives ‘gain’ more time- to do all the ‘winners’ did in haste, and contention, yet, each person whom they’ve taken time to be good to- is one more who may care about them down the line, in time. And if not directly them, for time they’ve taken to be good, they have stored reserves of strength, that they can spend on themselves.

Yet, you find the so called ‘winners’ – spent, and unable to even help themselves.

It is no mystery to some. And so, what is it to ‘win’ something , if that which you ‘lose’ is of greater value.

And what is it to be a ‘loser’ of that which it is not worth exchanging something of greater value to ‘win’.

Appreciating all that we have, is the surest way to get the most value, from our time. But giving up our time, to get what we don’t have, may be followed by dissapointment, and great sorrow, as we realize what we always took for granted, was of more value, than that which we didn’t have.

In this way, there is joy to be had in ‘not-winning’. And in this way, there is’no loss’ to be had, in giving; whether others are kind, grateful, or respond with slander, ridicule, hostility, sarcasm, or criticism, and disrespect. ( In time, you will forget their words – when the amount of good ones – to hold on to, exceeds your memory capacity, and you disregard the unkind words: but they might not have as much time, to do themselves good. When you encounter a negative attitude, you are witnessing a sinking ship. Better pity, than wrath, which anchors you to their sinking ship. Let it go, and keep your ship in shape to sail in pleasant winds, and view the beautiful coast; take time to feel the breeze, and pick the fruit, and eat it, and relax. The treasure is a burden, and the ‘winners’ have no peace, and no reward. Enjoy the voyage, care for the ship and the passengers, and mind the course, and you can return to pleasant shores and run across the sand, and play in the water, again and again. For vigor is retained within, and nourished by nature. And appearance of youth, and ‘winning’ is illusory, and not a state of strength – like the daoist cup that is full and thus has no more use because it has no potential to hold. Thus is the winner, who has amassed wealth, and control, through the full entanglement of his time and energies. Such that he has no potential to apperciate or use that which he holds. By not ‘winning’ and keeping your hands free, you may do much more, and have more time.

So, what is it to ‘win’ and what is it really to ‘lose.

Don’t let semantics, from an absolutism western yes/no logic, philosophy, be the authority over what your advanced complexly designed senses are aware is good.

Win, lose : are just semantics, and can be used to manipulate others into giving them selves to a life of servitude and overwork, for an illusory badge of pride. The badge of pride is pretended to have a currency. Lip service is given to it, by those in management. It is ‘used’ to persuade others to do what they want. Don’t be tricked by ‘win’ and ‘lose’. Why let managers, or drones, regurgitate, an allegiance to the badge of pride, which is still just lip service, such that you voluntarily give up your native soil, for trinkets. Don’t be conned. “Pride” is not a currency that will buy you much. Your ‘pride’ cannot be cashed in to get strangers on the highway to help change your flat tire. Your ‘pride’ cannot be cashed in during retirement, to get strangers to visit you for much needed human companionship. Or traded in for a family, kids, grandkids, when you feel a desire for them.

‘Pride’ is chief ploy to get people to try to ‘win’.

But it is of comparatively little worth.

Without people shunted into narrow tasks, and limited interaction, pride is not an icing needed for a cake otherwise bland. So don’t feel incomplete without pride. You don’t need to ‘win’ to have things of, or be of value.

You are of value, without trying to be. Just as the water, wind, sun, and fruit are. Just as you are capable of feeling good, with only those things, and no stress from people.

You are of value, whether good people tell you.

And you are still of value, when ‘winners’ try to con you into feeling less, to beat you, and call you a ‘loser’.

‘Winners’ telling you that you have less value, are actually themselves not feeling good. And are justifying their paradigm, with the idea that at least they are ‘winners’. And in their deprived state, they note, maybe even jealously, that someone else is not stressed out, or otherwise strained from ‘winning’ and express this by pointing out, even with hostility ( because they are themselves unhappy, mal content, and uncomfortable ), someone else is a ‘loser’

You need not retaliate, or ‘win’ to gain the respect of a ‘winner’. For they have lost what you retained, and they are envious of your calm, contentment, and joy. Like a hungry theif steals to eat, the joy starved ‘winner’ will see your robust contentment, and sense the disparity. If you give up your contentment to become a ‘winner’ , the disparity may be gone, and the ‘winner’ that called you a loser, might now feel nothing to envy. What have you gained?

Now called a ‘winner’, you have gained the mal content that comes with giving up time, and contentment to, to beat others. And, like someone at Everest Advanced base camp, you are slowly withering. And the illusory gain, of acknowledgment from other’ winners’ – designed by management to manipualte otehrs to increase productivity – will not nourish you, and you too will expire of thin air and inadequate noursihment.

Don’t let ‘Pride’ manipulate you too, into giving up your inherent value. If someone calls you a ‘loser’ – by word, or attitude, or expression, or implies it. Simply Pity their malcontent state – and the many thigns they had to lose in order to tout their illusory ‘badge of pride’. Remember, that’s probably the only thing they have, to feel good about themselves now. No need to assault it, in time, they will fall of sheer fatigue. That which you had all along, inherently, is what they will seek most to regain. And they will then see you for what you are: robust, nurturing, wise, strong, enduring and kind. The dispensing or retracting of the badge of Pride, is not even a part of the process of attaining what you have inherently. It’s superfluous, and leads to distraction, and in that time of distraction, what is of most value atrophies, and slips out of your grasp, in time.

When a winner repays your kindness with something other than good. It is not a sign that its time to abandon doing good; or that good is ineffectual. That is a misperception that perpetuates ‘pride’ and servitude to dispensers of the illusory badge of pride – and gives them power over you, with the lip service to Pride. Like the concept and honoring of ‘money’, gives certain pieces of paper more value than others, so does the concept of pride, give certain ‘titles’ more value than others, but its like ‘faith’. Without acknowledging and believing the money has power, pride is worthless.; such that if you tell foreigners, who have no knowledge of your company or business, that you were the recipient of a badge of pride from this organization, you will get no more than a nod of the head, and smile – it is literally worthless; except within management, and used soley to organize and label servants for more quickly identifiying which ones are useful at certain tasks; and mostly to whip the others to strive for a performance benchmark – which the pride badge is set at.

Good always has currency, whether others immediately recognize it. Without getting obedience, good benefits the do gooder, who feels good – which itself is worth: a good nights sleep, a good appetite, fun loving, playful times, attraction to similarly minded people, resulting in more good people around you. These are the type you don’t need to ‘win ‘ against, but the type who would do good for you. Being a ‘winner’, and imposing on others against their will, results in enemies. Enemies will bring you sleepless nights, poor appetite, worried times, rage, anger, violence, fear,hate. Being a winner will attract worried, fearful, weak people, who are attracted to your anger, rage and violence. There are the type that will turn on you, and blame you for being the cause of their fear, worry, and condemn your violence, yet seek it, and become your enemy; such that you are surrounded by allies, but leave a wake of enemies.

Winning ? Losing?

It is my opinion you net more by remaining good – ignoring the badge of Pride- and finding time for renewal in nature, and sharing it with winners and losers, and not putting down either. Because everyone wears different clothes, at different times, but we are all inherently of value; and good people will be around longer, and with you more than an enemy –

in the time you have; it is better to do good, than to worry about winning and losing. Because after everyone forgets, and time passes, winning and losing, and pride are nothing, the ones who cared about it gone – forever; as are the rewards; but you will always feel best, doing good; and at any given time,

you have the most control over your immediate experience of joy, appreciation and well being.

So , relax, have a good nights sleep, doing good. Not worrying if others do good in return – you already have the reward, which is not guaranteed by winning, pride, or money. ‘winning’ ‘losing’ are semantics, designed to motivate workers for more productivity; to exchange your ‘time’ for their worthless lip service honor. Like checks, money, tokens, – that are not inherently valuable, except in the place it is recognized. But natural renewing forces, are universal, and weather all storms, the greatest commodity is time; which is oblivious to ‘winning’ ‘losing’ ‘pride’ and ‘money’.

Prioritize that which gives you the most tangible, rewarding return; and you will see ‘winning’ ‘losing’ are semantics use to manipulate others to do things that others can’t otherwise justify with cash alone.

Pride is not a friend. Pride is not a universal currency. Pride expires faster, than that which people exchange for it. Good relationships, friends, health, will carry you further and reward you more meaningfully than pride.

Don’t give up your native soil for worthless trinkets.

Fuck ‘Winning’.

Make Good times.

Dream: as I moved the picnic table back, I thought of dad as the dried hollow, light table, now not as sturdy, and 2 feet on the edge. When I put him back on solid ground, I wept. Thinking of all the time I spent avoiding people, to not feel inadequate – as I thought on how meaningless pride is. And how ‘time ‘ is more valuable, but in the 20’s one doesn’t understand time.

Now that dad may not be around to see my wife, first kid, career, – that I may not have the opportunity to invite him to my home, or for him to enjoy seeing his son with the afortementioned. I see the price of pride, and inadequacy, and retaliation, and hate. I wept in my sleep, heavy ily, for a moment, as I sensed the athings I chose not to grasp ( wife, career) when they were abundant and around me for the easy taking. Like the angry person refusing to eat in the presence of others, the sense of rejecting sensations, to in a way reject acknowledging others. By rejecting any other friends, women, or roles, as sour grapes anger, for not getting what I want ‘when I wanted it, the way I first wanted it. I, in spite, gave up that which had a value, I didn’t even know.

And now that those things are nearly out of reach, or expire – the time for marriage, kids, and enabling grandfather hood- and career glory ; I see the alternative is being a white haired unknown, without loved ones surrounding him that were chosen. Treated as a stranger, and all that I cared about, not shared, or understood, but anonymous, in a drifter, like a bottle in the ocean to be found maybe by one, with unknown impact if any. The stragihtforward love of a female, and makiing of kids, who will inherently care, and be passed on all the stories and ways and will be investe din to grow up and be the company in later years – and be the caretakers – from the myopia of a 20 year old avoiding a sense of shame , from pride as the main sustenance, people will not know any of the pride I achieved and bore, and in the time they see me I am only a white haired stranger.

Now I see the value of the effortful mundane relationships of man, wife, children, and the toil of school, sports, and cooking and maintaining a household. Careing for your family, is investment, that they will return. But operating from a sens eof inadequacy, and shame, and seeking to prove , and achieve, to offset, that, takes up extra time, and leaves little for the mundane. And so the cost of Pride, is to then be unknown, and cared for with as little care as you gave to another.

Winning is a circumscribed application, or measurement. In the full picture, winning is always a spending of much time, in an area that results in missing many other opportunities.

Winning, Pride versus Goodness and Joy:

There was a rpomise, or description of big things, and outside of the school, all that was there was what was there before, adults going off to dead end, minimum wage jobs, they were overqualified for and udnerpaid to do, who wer bored, unhappy, and part of a system of organized sertvitude, with money and goals, and consumer products, as the ‘trinkets’ used to get the ‘natives’ to exchange their precious natural resourse: in this case, freee will, spirit, youthful vigor and innovation, sensory fufillment with vigorous execise and strenuous activity; exchanged for sutis, rooms with people looking to see the other fall so that they can stand in their place. A civilized organization where hate is expressed with fake smiles and sarcastic shade cast as daily fellowship, wears down the wekest ( weakest) leaving only the strongest, standing, in the sterile office landscape, of professionals, whose pillaging, amounts, to figures in their bank acocunt( account), and a learned disposition of viewed(viewing ) all people’s motives with the most suspicious and damning possible viewpoint; until proven otherwise; and if so, then disregarded, as foolish, or ignorant aberration; which isn’t credited to goodness of the human spirit; because to believe there is such a thing, would make their victory pyrrhic, having abandoned it themselves to defeat their foes. When winning is the goal, and the casualty goodness; there is sadness whether you win or lose. If you win among the people at school and work, you caused another to lose. You’re parents still get old and die, and your youth disaappears faster, never to return, and your memories, bring you asadnes(sadness), as all that was good in your life slips through your fingers; no matter how much you win; no human can grasp time. SO all is lost; even your vicotry, and your parents victories and the significance of the opponents you beat, as time leaves no one to appreciate, or who knows what you accomplished. Yet you know what you gave up to win. Only you know how those gifts of vigor, and talent, and ease, of fresh wonder, were squandered unwisely, and that which was unwisely lost, were greater treasures, than anything that will be rewarded for winning against you’re fellow man on the fields of civil interaction. No victory can offset the gifts that were discarded, to get the illusory accolade promised. Thus, the great sorrow, is the dissapointment, created by the unfufilled promises of college, work, and romantic scripts; which aren’t attainable, and the probability of expereincing so low, as to merit no mention; yet are held up as benchmarks to achieve, and generate more dissatisfaction in others unabel(unable ) to attain them, than inspiration or hope. The fantasy of romantic glory, is but a mere story, whose elements of educational and career pride, are fodder for vicarious enjoyment, of viewers. Not a life path. Not a realistic expectation. And thus, a poor compass for deciding how to spend one’s time, life and energies, and meditate on.

The misinformation, the unrealistic expectations, the unhappiness, that results, creates disgruntled, angry citizens, who make a desperate effort to achieve the dream, whenever the energy is avaiable. And others capitalize on this, by leading them on.

It is in the present, daily natural interactions with widnd, sun, water, and the moving of our bodies, that make our mind rejoice, and realx, and exult in being alive. And song is the way to transcend the defense, complaints and limitations of others speech, to soar, and exult – the very fabric of the atmosphere where it permeates the sensation of the world around us, is opened to the natural vigor around us. Imbuing us- recharging, revitalizing – in turn for the discharge of song. There is no oversight, no kow towing. Freedom, is joy, and song is freeing.

So when feeling overwhelmed by takss, and planning ahead to reduce them, so that they will be aout of mind. Remeber, joy is not a far off thing, form which eyars of obstacles must be surmounted to attain.- Joy is immediate, upon discahraging song, or effort in the sun to tend the land – because ethe renewing energy of the natural grass, wind, and water, will enter, when we discharge that which we withold: such as forgiveness, kindess, friendship, sharing, advice, love, help, education, or ceoncern, or expression.